for some of you it may come as a surprise, but let’s make it very clear here. I know I can say a lot. I know that you know that I can say a lot. and think. and mimic. and observe. I can do plenty of these things. and a bit extra. but what I find quite difficult at this stage is to bring any concept that sits in my mind to life. to express it. to feel it outside of me somehow. I mean I can picture it. spin the idea of the thought and rotate it in my head, see it affected by various vectors across different levels and dimensions. but what’s it worth if I can’t share it? I mean I possibly could but what guarantee do I have that you will read my mind as accurate as only I could read it? none. but I really want it. to talk. to think. even to write.

it became obvious fast enough that I couldn’t do it all by myself. not a chance. not with my inability to keep things in my hand for too long without bashing them on the ground. not a hope. early enough I understood that I will simply need a vessel.

• 

so I struck the deal with my daddy. he agreed that occasionally, from time to time, he’ll try to put some of the things I have in mind on paper. or wherever else he would see it fit. I decided that I’ll provide him with the insight to my mind and allowed him – in all my generosity – to put some of the things I have in mind on paper. or wherever else I could see it fit.

we didn’t discuss any additional conditions to this contract. I mean he mentioned something that he might be willing to give over once I’ll be mature enough to take over, but we didn’t specify when or where the switch will take place. I suppose it will take some time eventually. so yeah. good luck with your part of the deal daddy. let’s see how you’ve dealt with the task in a couple years from now. until then I can only hope that you won’t forget to feed me while I’ll be feeding you. with all of me.